November Pecker
I hate it when people act like sex talk is below them. Or just sex in general. Let me ask you, what’s wrong with sex? We all do it, we all love it. I don’t mean to rant, I just couldn’t think of a catchy but still appropriate title.
I started talking about sex back in 4th grade. A forgettable elementary teacher nervously discussed the male and female reproductive system. Of course, a gargantuan topic like that (to a young mind) compels younglings to ask obvious questions. The topic ran for a glorious week. I haven’t stopped talking about it since, it’s a topic that has always held my interest. There was even a time, after school hours, on our way home in the school bus, I kept reciting the human impregnation process (faithfully recited, by the way, scientific terms and all) aloud, right in front of my generally austere schoolmates who didn’t seem to mind, now that I think about it. Over and over, until it became a game of finishing passages from our Science textbook. Covering the reproductive system only.
Inquisitive young minds, I guess (shrug).
Today, my office pals showed me a clip of a woman sitting on a sex toy that vibrates (Oh God, not straight porn!). The sex toy kinda looks like a saddle with a dick sticking up in the middle. Oh and it vibrates. I feel like I have to say it again, understand that it’s the primary strength of the product. One characteristic that isn’t quite unique, but something that it does well. Real well by the look on her face (and the unintelligible gibberish she was making) … eh… didn’t do anything for me. I’m impervious to womanly powers, charms, whatever you call them. Those things just bounce off me. I almost wanted to show them my prized collection of gay porn though. Something to rock their world and leave them weak-kneed. I have them in boatloads saved deep within the confines of my phone. But straight guys can’t handle man sex. I realize that. Ah the double standard in hetero-homo porn sharing.
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Music: Magnifishit / Skinny Puppy / Mythmaker