Because I’m A Dirty Dirty Boy

A friend at the office and I agreed to get each other gifts because we’re such good friends (we talk about life and sex and people and all that).  We’re really good friends because we like to hang out in front of the office building and score guys based on looks (1-10, average is 3 usually). Not that we’re superficial or anything, god no. Once in a while it’s fun to let go and succumb to the maddening shallowness common to the general public.

We wanted to cement our friendship by swapping stuff (good friends do that, right?) I’m averse to gift giving as I prefer cash, plus the stuff that I like are usually too costly. Very impractical for the times so I had to narrow it down to love, sex, art and gadgets; the four pillars of my happiness. It took me all but 10 seconds to mentally conjure affordable items to ask for that have the potential to bring me much much much joy.

In the end I asked for a tube of K-Y and three boxes of Durex Fetherlite condoms–Because I’m a dirty dirty boy.

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Music: Just A Little Hole / Beth Hart / Screamin For My Supper
Reading: American Gods / Neil Gaiman