Too Simple I Tuned Out

Last week while I was standing in the back of the line inside one of our local 7-11s, I was waiting for my turn at the counter, and this group of straight people in front of me were fucking around, swapping lame jokes and acting cool and shit… I dont know, maybe they were trying to impress each other? I don’t know, I don’t get simple people… and their simple logic, their simple joys, and their simple dreams… they probably have simple sex lives too… probably.

Anyway, this 7-11 had a poll going on gay marriage and you can vote for or against it by buying one of two Gulp flavors which I thought was pretty cool because it encouraged people to talk about important and relevant gay issues. These days everybody has something to say. I’m sure the vast majority of Filipinos have had gay encounters, sexual or otherwise. I didn’t mind that 7-11 capitalized on issues that probably don’t mean anything to them at least on a personal level but as long as it got people talking and thinking…

So this simple guy at the counter got a Gulp but was complaining to the cashier because 7-11 didn’t have any more of the “NO” flavor. They made a couple of lame jokes on the subject and they thought the idea of gay marriage was gross and they laughed and I’m sure they thought they were being witty when they were being painfully… simple. He paid for his stupid drink but him and his simple posse made it clear to everyone in the store that they were anti gay marriage. Like their simple opinions mattered. I should have been offended I know but the motherfuckers were just too simple I tuned out and actually didn’t mind if they died on the spot.

I don’t want to say that they’re better off dead, I guess that’s wrong, and just because they’re not fond of gays doesn’t mean they’re evil but… if these people ever have kids of their own, I hope their boys become a bunch of cum guzzling cocksuckers and their girls, voracious carpet munchers.

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Music: This Grudge / Alanis Morissette / So-Called Chaos